WOW!!! Who the hell neglected to tell me that being a self-employed working mother would be so blooming MANIC?!!!!!
The last 6 months of my life have flown by!
Working, Cleaning, Cooking, Cleaning, Sleeping, Working, Cooking, Cleaning, Guides meetings, Dance meetings, Dance Festivals, Camping Trips, Parents evenings, Hoola Hoop shows, Washing, Cleaning, Cooking, MELTDOWN!!!!!
I have a two wonderful daughters who are extremely active. I have a lovely boyfriend who is always extremely busy. I have a pretty kitty cat who can be just as demanding as the kids! And there’s me in the middle of them all …. the one holding everything together so they get to their meetings and dance classes on time. I’m the one who sorts out the dance costumes and does the hair and make-up and MAD costume changes at festivals. The one who thinks that having a couple of hours alone in the evening to do the housework is a night off and who gives fruit personalities by introducing googly eyes … THIS I find hilarious and it is this that convinced me that I have finally lost the plot!! Well… along with the fact that I just “treated” myself by buying a new mop (IT’S PINK!!!) and also that I find the word NECTARINE highly amusing, TRY IT!! Nec-Tar-Reen. If you say it often enough it becomes a really fun word to say!! I am sat here now repeating it to myself in a range of different vocals and pitches!!
SO… when do you think that as mothers (and fathers) it is that we start finding little stupid things fun? Has anybody else been truly excited about getting a new PINK mop??? Though to be fair… it may have been the fact that I now have a clean kitchen floor. It has been so long since I last mopped that I thought the colour of the tiles WAS a murky dirt colour (they are in fact a nice light pine colour! quite nice!) BUT EVEN SO… who gets excited about mopping??? Especially when you know that shuffling through the kitchen on a towel afterwards was a pointless attempt to keep the floor clean for a couple of hours more when you turn around to find little black paw prints from the back door to the lounge!!
It was definitely not in the paperwork I received when I gave birth to my daughter that as soon as I have emptied the wash basket in the bathroom she would find enough washing to fill it back up again in just 10 minutes!!
And it wasn’t in the instruction manual when my partner moved in that he would regularly malfunction and leave toast crumbs all over the kitchen (ALL OVER EVERYWHERE!!) and not realise when the dustbin was full and instead of emptying it, he would just balance crisp packets and bottles precariously on the top until we have our very own leaning tower of pizza!!!
And I most certainly don’t remember agreeing to my step-daughter being able to like chicken one week but hate it so much the following week that I thought she was going to be physically sick!! (BUT… she can still eat chicken nuggets?!)
Seriously… where-ever you are right now, it doesn’t matter, just say “nectarine” out loud… I promise it will brighten your day and most likely those around you too (or they’ll turn and walk the other direction to get way from the nutter saying nectarine out loud at the bus stop!!)
I have just realised that there is no real point to this blog post. It IS truly just the ramblings of a mad woman hoping beyond all hope that there is at least ONE other person in this world who has a chaotic life and finds stupid little things to amuse themselves with!!
NEC-TAR-REEN!! 😀 😀 😀